


Swimmer Hood Of The Traveling Shotglass- Nathan's Love Poem & SHOTTSklok

by Holkie



Series: Mordhaus [3]
Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 13:51:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10698345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holkie/pseuds/Holkie
Summary: Now this needs a bit of an explanation.  Way back in October, 2006, Adult Swim had a bump with an essay contest to win an AS shot glass.  Four sides with owls on it.   33 words, no more, no less.  A fan on the AS boards (RIP, the boards, not the fan) by the name of Duzitickle won it with a pledge to make it a traveling shotglass.   She'd take her shot, show it around her town, doing touristy things, and then send it off to the next in line.At first, all one had to do was ask to get SG (as the shotglass was known).  But so many were asking, Duzi decided to do contests.  The last new member would come up with a contest, run it for a week, then pick the winner.  The 50th SHOTTS decided, because it was  the week before Valentine's Day, that the contest was a love poem between two cannon characters on an AS show.  I did a Nathan Explosion/Rebecca Nightrod one and won.  My contest was write a story were one of characters on an AS show got SG.  And I put my money were my month was and wrote a Metalocalypse themed one.So, here is Nathan's Love Poem, SHOTTSklok, and a Toki written Dethklok song...sort of.





	Swimmer Hood Of The Traveling Shotglass- Nathan's Love Poem & SHOTTSklok

Ah, Rebecca...

I, ah, cherish you  
cherish you with the darkest cherish  
That any b*tch could rate  
You made me wear sweaters  
pastels, not much better  
I'm glad you are in a coma  
You are now the best  
right hand ever.  
Go die.

Nathan

 

******************************************************************  
The above is the version that Adult Swim's board Valentine's filters made. The original version I wrote was:

Ah, Rebecca....

I, ah, hate you.  
Hate you with the darkest hate  
That any b*tch could rate  
You made me wear sweaters  
Pastels, not much better  
I'm glad you are in a coma  
You are now the best girlfriend ever  
Go die.

Nathan

I think the filters improved it. ;-)

********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************  
SHOTTSklok

 

It was the average day in Mordhaus, ie it was well into the afternoon. The guys were, mostly, recovering from hangovers or 'dates'. Except for Toki, who was playing DDR. Nathan, Pickles, and Murderface were in the hot tub while Skwisgaar was on the sofa plucking at his ever present guitar.

Their agent/manager/lawyer, Charles Foster Ofdensen, walked in with a handful of papers. "Gentlemen, we still need to finalize the tour dates."

"Ah, jeezus! Can't cha see we are relaxing, Ahdensen!" Pickles groaned, one hand over his eyes. "Can't we do this later?"

"You have been putting this off and avoiding me for a couple of weeks now, Pickles. The dates have to be agreed to and the venues secured before some other band or event gets the dates." The manager looked annoyed.

"Pfft! Its not been dat longs." Skwisgaar replied. "Yous always an-noysing us for dat things. Just picks da dates, we be there."

"Ah, yeah, just pick the right dates, robot. We'll show up and do the gig for the jack-offs." Nathan rumbled before he polished off yet another beer.

Ofdensen frowned. "I am not a……"

But he was interrupted by a hooded servant coming into the room. "M'lord Wartooth? That package you were awaiting is here and must be signed for."

"Wowie! De ones from Feds Xs?" Toki was across the room to the servant in a flash, just a bit out of breath from dancing to the game.

"Yes, milord. The FedEx agent needs your signature as per their orders."

"WOWIE! Dats means it's de real t'ing!" The Norwegian was out the door and down the hall toward the mailroom.

The other men stared after the hyper brunette.

"Whats was that all abouth?" Murderface asked. "Theth real thingth?"

"I have no idea. And that worries me. I didn't know Toki was expecting anything." Charles said. "And I should know of anything or anyone that comes into Mordhaus if only for your safety, gentlemen."

"It's probably just another model or a game. Toki has been on edge for the past couple a'days waiting for something." Nathan said. "As long as it keeps him busy and outta my hair, I'm fine with it."

It wasn't long before Toki was back. He was carrying a large cardboard box that was well traveled by the looks of it. It was taped all over and seemed to have layers of address stickers and even a few old, mostly worn custom stickers on it.

The rhythm guitarist placed the box almost reverently on the table and, instead of opening it right away, grabbed a digital camera he had been carrying around with him and took a couple of photos. He then asked Murderface to borrow his knife.

"I'llth open it for youth, Toki!" The bassist had a look of glee.

"Nos! Yous gots to do its real gentles like. It's SG in dere!"

The other men looked at each other before Ofdensen dared to ask. "SG?"

"Ja, SG, de traveling shots glass! Is wons de right to hosts her for a weeks." Toki was grinning ear to ear. "Is a members of de Swimmers Hoods now."

"The Swimmerhood?"

"Ja, de Swimmers Hood of de Traveling Shots glass." Toki explained slowly. "It's a shots glass with de owls on its dat wes gets to host of a weeks. Is gots to writes down SG's adventures wit' me and us and takes photos and puts some swags into de box and takes somes out and den send its on to de next persons. Oh, yeahs, and wash its before Is dos dat.

"Sos, cans Is borrows de knifes?" The brunette stood there looking expecting and pleading.

The hood servant who had told Toki that his package made it back, slightly out of breath by trying to keep up with the hyper guitarist, said, "Allow me, milord."

He pulled a small knife out of his boot and carefully cut open the box before excusing himself to go back to the mailroom.

Toki carefully opened the box. There was a layer of bubble wrap which the brunette flipped back to reveal all the items inside.

"Oh, wowie! Looks at all dis!" Toki crowed.

There was toys, action figures, cds, dvds, souvenirs from the places the shot glass had already been, and candies from all over. But on the very top was a note.

Toki, I'm honored to be sending this to you of all people! I had a great time with SG and am looking forward to your stories. Have fun!

Remember to keep the journal up to date. I put a new one in because the old one was full. So you have the honor being the first to write in this journal.

Let us know when SG gets to you!

Duzitickle

"Oh, ja! Is gots to lets dem knows!" Toki exclaimed. "But firsts to proves it."

He put the note down and pulled out a fancy box, carefully placing it on the table so he won't drop it. The he lifted the lid.

"Oh, wowie…. " Toki's voice was almost a whisper at the sight before him. SG, in all her owlly glory.

He picked up his camera and took a photo of SG still in her box. Then he pulled her out and put her down the table and took another shot. He looked around the room and saw the other men were still where they had been. An idea lit his eyes.

"Oh, heys! Guys, would yous takes a photos with SG so Is can send it to de Swimmers Hood? Please?"

"……."

"Please? Yous won't minds, would yous, Charlies?" Toki had the wide eyed pleading look that was hard to resist.

Which was why, after a quick set of photos of Toki taking his first shot with SG, Ofdensen was standing holding the shot glass full of some alcohol from some strange bottle and being challenged to prove he wasn't a robot or a butler and take the shot.

Which, after a glare at the boys (and the thought he had more then earned the damn drink), he did and Toki got his photo.

The Norwegian then teased Skwisgaar to take a shot. The other three men ragging him and reminding him that it was a 'she' so the blond womanizer should have no problem giving SG a 'kiss'.

"Pfft! At leasts gives mes somethings good to drinks from her." And Skwisgaar knocked back a shot.

By then, the three men in the hot tub had no problem with either taking a drink from SG or having Toki photograph them. Of course, if they had thought about it, they might have protested- after all they were naked and drinking in a hot tub with other men. But they were well on the way of their daily intake of booze, so it wasn't even a spark of a brain cell.

Nathan poured some of his beer in SG for his shot. Pickles had whatever his fruity drink was in her. And Murderface snagged an unmarked, almost empty bottle from around the hot tub to have his.

Then Toki was off to post his photos and let the Swimmerhood know SG had gotten there safe and sound.

It wasn't until hours later that the rest of Dethklok realized they hadn't seen Toki since he left to post the photos. They had no idea he was all over Mordhaus finding spots to take photos with him, with Deddybear, and some of the hooded servants. He even ventured out and gave some of the yard wolves a drink from the glass just to take a photo of them with SG.

SG even joined Toki at dinner, along with his camera. By then, the guys were pretty mellow and didn't complain about having their photos taken yet again. In truth, they had forgotten about SG.

The band spent the night doing their usual routine of watching television and drinking. But Toki saw to it that he had his camera and was taking a lot of photos because of SG. Seeing as the presence of the shot glass involved drinking, the boys had no problem with it.

The next day, Toki was up early, almost as early as their manager. He got a photo of SG on Charles' desk as he did paperwork. And with SG 'signing' a pain waiver. Ofdensen humored the Norwegian with some grace.

Then the two were off to get shots of SG with the others in their habitats.

Pickles was passed out in his room, wearing only his 'tighty whiteys'. So Toki just arranged SG leaning slightly on the drummer's night table like she was sleeping, took a shot, and was out of the room without Pickles even being aware they were there.

Murderface was actually awake and going over his Civil War artifact collections. At first he was ready to yell at Toki to get out until the Norwegian came up with the idea to have SG pose with Murderface and his collection. That set off a photo shoot that actually had Murderface smiling, if you can believe it. One photo he even propped his most prized Confederate cap on top of SG like she was wearing it and put an old revolver by her for a close-up.

Next on Toki's list was Skwisgaar. By that time, the Swede had kicked out whatever groupies he had overnight and was idling playing his guitar, not a real practice, just keeping his hands busy. Of course, he first said it was dildoes to pose with a 'stupids glasses', he still wound up smiling by the time Toki was done with him.

Finally, Nathan. The brunette was not sure how he was going to get Nathan to pose it the glass. But the singer turned out to be the easier to talk into it. (Hey, Pickles doesn't count! He never talked.) Toki took a few of Nathan and SG while Nathan was writing lyrics. And Nathan even suggested posing with SG with a mic like they were singing together.

Later that afternoon, they held a practice session to work on some new songs and SG was there. Toki had a Kloketeer take some of the photos while he was playing- SG on stage with them, watching from audience, and up on an amp with a tiny little guitar that the Norwegian had found somewhere and got when he knew he was going to host her.

The rehearsal got Toki thinking about something and that night, while the band was relaxing, he was busy scribbling in a notebook much like Nathan's with SG by his side. He would write some lines, then grimace, and scratch them out with a sigh.

"Whats dis, little Tokis? Is yous wor-kings on a storys?" Skwisgaar said with a smirk.

"Nos, Is is trykings to writes a songs for SG." Toki groused. "Nat'ans, dis is hards! Hows does yous do its?"

The singer, well into his beer for the night, glared at the guitarist. "Uh? What? Write a, ah, song? You just…. It… Just write it. Whatta you want to write a song for?"

Toki sighed. "Wells, SG is wit' us, Dethklok! Shes shoulds gets a song from us. Its would bes so goods to puts a cee dees in wit' one songs for her."

"Toki, it's a shotsch glass!" Murderface yelled. "She don't gotsch ears!"

"Ja, but de Swimmers Hoods does! Dey would likes to hear dis. But Is is havin' problems wit' writings de songs." Toki sighed again.

"Yeah, well, it is hard to come up with, like, ideas, Toki." Nathan took another pull of his beer. "But, maybe, I'll, ah, help you tomorrow."

"Wowie! Reallys? Likes writes a wholes song and records it? Wowie!" The Norwegian was grinning ear to ear.

Nathan had a fleeting thought that he would really pay attention to what he was saying. "Ah, sure, right. A song… about a shot glass."

"Wowie! T'anks you, Nat'an!" Toki put his notebook to one side and offered Nathan a drink of something from SG.

The rest of the evening was a typical Dethklok evening- drinking, fighting, video games, movies, drinking.

Toki was up earlier than the others as usual the third day with SG. He tried to think of new places to take SG in Mordhaus, but he had exhausted all the rooms Ofdensen would let him take photos in. There were some rooms off limits for security reason as per the manager.

So he played some video games with the shot glass nearby, waiting for the daily band meeting and Nathan to get up.

Finally, about lunchtime the rest of the band decided to start their day and gathered for breakfast and the meeting.

After the meeting, Toki approached Nathan with his notebook, the journal from the box, and SG in hand. "Ah, Nat'an? Remembers yous said yous help me writes a songs? Abouts de shots glass?"

Nathan, who barely remembered it, replied, "Ah, yeah, sort of. Ah Toki, I really do got to write some more for the album."

"Wells, its doesn't has to be a longs song. Just a shorts one is goods. But yous promiseded me yes-ters day." Toki had this kicked puppy look that he knew worked well and he put it to good use now.

Nathan had tired not to look at him as he picked his notebook. He knew the kid was doing the eye thing. "Ah, well, yeah, I did. Alright, just a short one?"

"Ja, it's a shots glass and dat is hards to writes abouts." Toki admitted.

"So, what is this about? The, ah, Swimmerhood is it?"

So Toki showed Nathan SG's travel journal and told him about the travels of the shot glass and how duzitickle had won the glass from Adult Swim.

"Ah, yeah, they were the ones who sponsored a college tour of ours a while back. That was a brutal tour." Nathan scratched his chin.

"Ja! Deys de ones! Is likes dat tour." Toki smiled. "One of de Swimmers Hood was at de Berkeley shows. She flews from New Yorks to see us!"

"Uh, really? Well, I guess she was alright then. She ever, ya know, been here? Like for Fan Day or with Skwisgaar?"

"Nos, shes a fans, nots a groupies. Is talks to hers on de Swimmers Hood threads on de boards. Okays enough." The Norwegian said. "She de ones whos gaves me de songs ideas."

"Oh, really? Which one is she?" There was certain tone to the singer's voice the guitarist knew well.

"Is not tells you! Yous gets mad at hers. Wes doesn't knows de others live ats. Only wheres it's comings and wheres Is gots to sends it next." Toki replied. "Nows, Is want to writes de song."

Nathan sighed and got down to it. The song did write itself now that the singer was helping the guitar with the English more than the song itself. It was actually, dare he say it, fun. The song was a simple drinking song. It was about a shot glass after all.

When Nathan and Toki brought the song to the others that night, there was a minor disagreement.

"Pfft! It's dildoes! Dis is justs a littles no'ing song." Skwisgaar said.

"I don't write nothing songs, blondie." Nathan growled. "And we're doing it."

"Nathan! Gawd! We got to finish the album first, dood!" Pickles waved his drink at the singer.

"I have to say I agree with Pickles." Ofdensen said. "The album will actually bring in money and is already months late. As usual."

"Listen, robot, it's one small song. We can knock it out in a couple of hours." Nathan glared at him. "Consider it both stress relief and promotional. It'll be just one copy."

"But weth are not getting paid for it!" Murderface yelled.

"Dat alright, Nat'an." Toki said, a frown on his face. "If deys can't does it, Is understands. If it's just toos much for dem to dos, learns a songs so fast….."

Skwisgaar glared at Toki. "Whats yous mean, can'ts dos it?"

"Ja, Skwisgaar," Toki said, turning away from the Swede. "If its too muchs for yous and yous can'ts play de music, it's alrights if wes don't dos de song."

The Norwegian had a wicked little smile as he winked at Nathan. The singer was a little shocked at the brunette for a moment before he recovered and followed his lead.

"Ah, yeah, blondie, if you can't play it, I guess we can't do it." Nathan rumbled. "I knew it had to happen sooner or later, you losing your edge.

"And we'd probably only edit out your bass anyway, Murderface. You haven't been playing, like, very brutal lately." The front man has a smirk on his face as he turned away with Toki to leave the room.

"Heyth! Did I sayth I wasn't doing it?" Murderface yelled. "I canth do it! I wanna do it!"

"Ja! Is not been bad playings! IS still de best and fastest!" The Swede's fingers were flying in a blur along the strings on his ever present Explorer.

"I don't know, Toki." Nathan winked at the rhythm guitarist. "If they aren't, like, up for it, the song will sound bad."

"Ja, Nathan." Toki sounded defeated. "Is guess wes don'ts do de songs if dey can'ts do de best."

The singer and the rhythm guitarist headed out of the room, followed by a protesting lead guitarist and bass player saying they could do and want to to prove they could.

Pickles sighed and finished his drink. As he pushed up from the table, he said "I guess we're doin' tha song, Charlie."

Ofdensen sighed and gathered his papers. If the boys just showed as much enthusiasm to recording the album, they would have a massive catalog now and been even richer. Maybe this little song might spark something he thought. But he didn't hold out much hope.

Well, they did do the song. Quick and a bit rough, but it seemed to work and made it sound like a real Dethklok song. Toki helped Pickles mix it real quick and copies on CDs before dinner.

And of course, Toki had one of the servants take photos of the recording sessions with SG in view.

When Toki posted that they had done a song for SG, the Swimmerhood went wild, specially after Toki said he was putting a couple of copies in the box.

Finally, Toki's last day with SG dawned. It was amazing she had survived the week in Mordhaus. But then, SG was the Traveling Shotglass. The Norwegian made his last entry in the journal, put copies of the song, a copy of the lyrics, autographs of the whole band, and some Dethklok swag in the box to cover the few things he had taken out. Then he sealed up the box, addressed it to the next in line and carried it carefully down the mailroom. The FedEx man was waiting for the box when the guitarist got down there.

Toki handed over the box with a "Goods byes, SG! Travels safesly. Its was de funs!"

The FedEx man tipped his cap and was out and away from Mordhaus. Toki watched the truck head off the grounds with a sigh.

"Was it all you thought it would be, Toki?" Ofdensen had come down to pick up some contracts that had been dropped off.

"Ja, Charlies. Its was funs." Toki smiled at the manager.

"You know, this has been the quietest week in Mordhaus ever. There was no accidents or murders. Not even out where the fans gather." The manager observed.

"Ohs? Wowie, maybes it's trues about de shot glass being de luckys." The guitarist walked back into the house with their manager.

"Who knows, Toki, but just maybe."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toki's Song

Traveling Shotglass aka 33 Words

 

33 Words!  
33 Words!  
And Duzitickle got the glass!  
Traveling shot glass starts on it s way  
Never knows where it will be on any day.

Duzitickle took the first shot!  
She passed it on to the next  
And then the next to the next  
To the next and the next!

From Florida to North Dakota  
From New York to Cali  
To the frozen north, Alaska, too!

SG leaves drunken hearts in it s wake  
No one keeps her for their luck s sake  
For to keep her is to court death and destruction  
Despair, fear, and complete loss of function!

33 words it took to send the owls to flying.  
From Cheese Castle to Mordhaus!  
From fall to winter to spring to summer  
She travels on to the Swimmerhood.

SG, we salute you and drink deep from you!  
Shot Glass! Shot Glass! Shot Glass!


End file.
